Parents, do your kids come home talking
about 'Grounders'? Mine do. Wtf? I first heard the term 'Grounders'
about 8 years ago when I was working in a daycare. I had come to pick
up some kids at an elementary school and, when I asked what they were
playing, they gave me the rundown... According to them, 'Grounders'
was a tag game played on playground equipment, and the person who was
'It' had to close their eyes while trying to tag other people also on
the playground equipment. Anyone on the ground was 'T' (formerly
'time-out,' apparently this phrase has negative connotations for the
wuss- generation) and couldn't be tagged. My first thought was 'Awww!
Kids are so stupid!' and my second thought, naïve as I was, was that
Grounders was just a flavour week and they would move onto something
else next week. Well, stupid me, they did persist in playing it quite
regularly until the end of that school year at which point I went on
mat leave and largely forgot all about it.
Grounders continued to pop into my
awareness over the years--I'd overhear it on the playground or a
neighbor kid would mention it--and eventually I accepted it was
actually a 'thing.' I went on the assumption that the kids on the
playground had relayed the rules incorrectly or that I'd remembered
incorrectly until one day a few months ago...
Me: Hey Bud! What did you do at recess
today?
Him: Played Grounders.
Me: Hmmm. Grounders? How do you play
that?
Him: Well, it's like tag and the person
who is 'It' has to close their eyes and try to tag people on the
playground equipment. But if you're touching the ground, you're T.
Me: Huh.
Part of me is a big fan of logic. And
that part of me, just really wants to say...
Kids, I take issue with your stupid
Grounders game. You've heard the phrase, “The blind leading the
blind...” No? Whatever. Surely this is a case of 'the blind chasing
the way-fucking-faster,' because, seriously, I just had a go with
this whole running-around-with-my-eyes-closed thing and, I'm not
going to lie, I've had more graceful walks home from the bar at 2AM.
Respectfully I ask, how (the fuck) is someone with their eyes closed
supposed to chase a seeing target down on a play structure?
Seriously, you guys have had some stupid-ass ideas over the years,
but running with your eyes closed on a play structure makes the
top-five. As far as I can tell, kids, this game leaves you only two
choices...Cheat or endanger yourself by actually running around with
your eyes closed. Can you spell STUPID? Actually there is a third
choice, and let me tell you, if adults played this game this is
totally what they would do...You can sit your ass down on the grass,
declare yourself 'T,' drink a glass of something fruity, and watch
sir-it-alot stumble around blindly on the equipment. Score! …
...but, I'm a classy mom and, as such,
I have kept those words to myself for the time being. However, I did
decide to pay a little extra attention the next time I was on the
playground. Sure enough, the kids were playing Grounders, and, as
predicted, the sad little kid who was 'It' squinted shamelessly
through her half-closed eyes while chasing the other kids around.
Stupid.
So here I sit, blogging angrily about
my pointless little gripe, and remembering how when I was kid I used
to look at adults sitting (literally and metaphorically) at the sides
of some AWESOME game I was playing and vow that I would never be so
STUPID and grumpy as them.
