Saturday, 13 February 2016

pppsst...I Like Being Married

I like being married. No. Scratch that. I love being married. All the obvious stuff like having someone to cuddle up with at night, having a someone to relieve me of a hated household task now and then, a listening ear or a helping hand when the going gets tough, and let's not forget the sex! I love it all! But it seems to me that there is some unwritten rule that one doesn't proclaim such ridiculous notions publicly. I can only assume that this is all for a noble cause. People don't want to speak too fondly of marriage in case they upset another friend who is married but perhaps less enthusiastic about the whole affair or rub salt in the wound of another friend who is not married but wishes to be. Instead people seem to prefer the 'marry and moan about it' club, and, since I have frequented a few of their meetings, I can say with some authority that I think it is all a bit of a farce. I think there are plenty of other love birds basking in joys of their marital bliss under more of rooves than care to admit it, so, because it's Valentine's day, I'm just going to come out and say it (again), I love being married! What's so great it about, you ask? Well, let me remind you...

HE is so great! I am wildly, madly, crazily in love with the person my husband is. I had all these wonderful, romantic, notions about him back when we were dating, and you know what? It turns out, I was right! He is all those things, but as a husband, he is SO much more. If you want to know someone's true colors, you're probably not going to find them in first kisses, roses, restaurants, declarations of love, or even adventure dates, as the Bachelor series would have you believe. Nope. You will find them in the middle of the night when your beautiful baby is sick, and you listen to his gentle singing and the creak of the rocking chair in the next room. You will find them when he attends yet another of your family's gatherings after his long work day with a smile on his face. You will see them when he chooses the PTA over his long-standing Tuesday night pool game with the boys. Or when he lets you sleep in even though it's his turn because he knows you're struggling. And do you know what I found in my husband`s case? He is pure GOLD!

Marriage is so great. My husband and I dated for 5 wonderful years before we tied the knot, and those were good times--lots of adventure, romance, and the sweet surprises of getting to know someone to the core. But getting married was really awesome too, though the its true potential wasn't clear to me ten years ago on that day I still proudly call the best of my life. The best way I can think to describe it is this--when we made that commitment, it was like driving a stake in the ground on the land on which we intended to build a life, and that stake was the beginning of SO many awesome things. We built homes, children, businesses, friends, communities, and even our very selves on that land. None of those are small things. And there is no where I'd rather be than running this small-but-impressive empire with him by my side. ♥♥♥

In fact, it is perfection. Well, it can be. So I don't know if any other married people can vouch for this, but according my own small study, life is 98% compromised of menial tasks that center around the core grind of feeding, cleaning, transporting, sleeping, and providing for the members of your household. Marriage, from a time perspective, is therefore as much about commutes and showers and picking up Little Sally at dance class and scheduling conflicts and arguments about toilet paper and wiping up splatters of yogurts as it is about the 2% (if you're lucky) hearts and flowers stuff. Add to that, that all members of the marital household fall short of perfection, and that the smaller household members and sometimes even greater society conspire to divide or wear marital unions down inch by painful inch. That, my friends, is a recipe for one of two things...disaster or perfection.

So if you're out there still choosing  each other day after day, amongst all other choices, in spite your individual short-comings and whatever circumstances life has thrown your way, that is pretty awesome! Congratulations on your little piece of perfection! I wish for your marriage health, happiness, and a good dose of patience and I hope this Valentines day you find a little time to enjoy it as much as I do!♥♥♥

Actions speak louder than words
For A, who shouts general awesomeness and love from the hilltops♥


  1. Excellent post, Adele. I love the "stake in the land" metaphor! And the fact that you are willing to shout that you love marriage from your blog. Well done! (and I love marriage for all of your excellent reasons, too... 25 year this year. How did that happen?)

    1. Congrats on that, Maria! I still remember your wedding! Think I may have sat at the guest book with Maria and Kelly