The next day, you wake
up exhausted and decide you're too lazy to do anything. You put on
the tv, clean out the cooler, and go out to do some yard work. The
kids migrate out in their jammies, and, by some act of God, decide
that today is the day they will get along. And then all the stars
align, and the two hours that follow unfold like one of those dream
sequences from the Wonder Years. A jolly game of backyard dodgeball
erupts minus the over-zealous (but NOT-ON-PURPOSE, MOM!) balls to the
face. This evolves into a game of tag which somehow comes to include
water, and the end result is a family water fight culminating in the
full five of you rolling in hysterics on the grass before chowing
down on ice cream sandwiches and telling knock-knock jokes while
soaking up the sun in lawn chairs. And the whole thing reminds you
why you did this whole family thing in the first place... MAGIC!
In this day and age of
busy-ness where everyone, including the dog, is scheduled to the
nines, pulled in 100 different directions and consequently too
exhausted to do much else, I hear a lot of talk of 'quality time,'
and it goes without saying that some choices are better than others
in terms of making the best of one's time. For example, one
might choose to go for a family bike ride over, say, watching the
Simpson's, but there are no guarantees as to how that bike ride will
unfold, and I can definitely attest that there has even been some
'quality' Simpson's times in my past, which leads me to this... It
has always been my thought that 'quality' is something you simply
cannot force. And do you want to know why you can't force 'quality?'
It is because, as I've attempted to illustrate in the previous
anecdotes--Quality time is magic. There's no two ways about,
and magic doesn't always happen when you want it to or
when you plan for it to, it just happens. However, like all sensible
things, magic does respond simple mathematical rules, and as I will
attempt to prove forthwith, the more powerful factor we need to be
focusing on is, in fact, QUANTITY TIME. So if you're willing
to bear with some seriously loony-toons logic, here goes...
The (mathematical) Laws
of Magic
1. The
occurrence of magic/quality time is random. It happens in its own
time and space, and cannot be squeezed involuntarily into places of
your choosing – Just as you can't squeeze 4 halves into a
whole, magic or 'quality time' cannot be squeezed into say, a two
hour window on Sundays. I was once out for supper with friends, and
at the table next to us sat a father and teenage son. To me, the
whole situation reeked of an every-second-weekend custody
arrangement, and, as a bystander/spying diner, this social event was
as cringe-worthy as watching Keanu Reeves in “A Walk in the
Clouds”. The Dad was trying in vain to converse with the boy who
awkwardly looked sideways, mumbled one word answers, and incessantly
checked his phone. I secretly prayed that they would have the
impetus to forgo dessert and put themselves out of their misery, but
NO, and by this time it was total silence as they scarfed down their
brownies. Painful. But I really did feel very badly for both of them.
What I saw was a guy making an effort to do something nice with his
son specifically involving conversation, and, in this instance, the
attempt at quality time appeared to be failing miserably.
But, it was what it was, and 'magic' simply did not surface at this
juncture. There has actually been a number of studies done on this
particular topic in fact showing a strong negative correlation
between father-son outings to BP's and the appearance of
'magic'/quality time, but the reason for this remains unclear... BUT,
MAKE NO MISTAKE...
2. Magic WILL
happen – Just as two non parallel lines, both in the same
plane, are destined to intersect, so is it inevitable that magic WILL
occur. This is a good thing. 'Magic'/quality time has long been
known to increase the frequency of smiling and laughing as well as
decrease the occurrence of heart attacks and feelings of
discontentment. It would seem that appearance of magic is a
universal law, much like Pythagorean Theorem, and to date, there are
no documented discrepancies in its existence/frequency regardless of
geographical location, social circumstance, cultural affiliation or
any other factor.
3. Magic will
surface with the most frequency in the things you spend the most time
doing—Hello!?! The law of averages??? If magic is random
and inevitable, it only serves to reason that it will surface most
often in the activities you spend the most time (ahem, QUANTITY TIME)
doing. This is good news insomuch as it is the part of this
mathematical equation that you can manipulate. This is where one
might find it useful to call to mind your own unique values in terms
of which areas of your life you would ideally like 'magic'/quality
time to surface. If it is desirable for you to have 'quality time'
with your kids, then perhaps consider how this will factor into the
'quantity' investment of your time this weekend. If you are looking
for that 'magical' golf swing, consider booking a few tee times. If
the magic in your career is lack-lustre, put in a few extra hours. It
really is quite simple.
There you go! You can't
argue with Math. Choose wisely how you spend your QT (quantity
time), and all that's left is so sit back, relax, and allow magic to
happen.
